The difference between a cold and a determined person

Often, we confuse a “cold” and a “determined” attitude. Indeed, they sometimes seem almost indistinguishable…

So how can we tell them apart, in ourselves and in others? And how can we take control of how we communicate?

Explanation!

Definitions

Before analysing anything, we must start with clear definitions!

Coldness

According to the Petit Robert: coldness is a relative absence of emotion or sensitivity, a marked indifference, showing zero interest in a situation. In a few words: being antisympathetic.

So, coldness is neither an emotion nor a feeling but an attitude. This means it is conveyed through your body and your behaviour.

Determination

According to the Petit Robert, again: determination is the attitude of a person who acts without hesitation and is confident in the decision they’ve made. In a few words: a confident person

Now that the definitions are cleared up, we notice that there are indeed many common points…

Common points

1. Both coldness and determination are attitudes. This means that both concepts share the same means of communication: they are expressed through reactions, behaviour, and body language. This is their first similarity, and often the source of confusion.
   
2. Lack of communication. Both attitudes are closed off. No matter what others say or do, the person remains steadfast and does not change their stance.
   • A cold person won’t change their mind because they’re indifferent. Whether you cry or shout, they simply don’t care!
   • A determined person won’t change their mind because you lack the right arguments to sway them from their goal. They carry on regardless of obstacles.
     
3. Being unsympathetic.
   • For a cold person, being unsympathetic is part of the definition of their attitude; they are a true wall.
   • For a determined person, the unsympathetic aspect comes from their insensitivity to emotions. Here’s an example: when someone is buying a house, at some point, their emotion, especially fear, kick in. (“What about the budget? The debts? What if it’s the wrong house? What if I lose my job and can’t repay the loan?”) But for a determined person, this fear, based on a hypothetical future, is not a valid argument. They won’t let emotions sway them because fear can lead to poor decisions. This lack of emotional influence makes them appear… cold!
     
4. Determination. The final similarity is determination itself. Both coldness and determination are strong, unwavering attitudes that do not shift depending on people or situations. They are tenacious and unchanging

Now, you may think to yourself, being cold is just the same as being determined, and vice-versa… But there are still specific nuances that make the difference, and here they are:

Differences

1. Confidence
   • A determined person is confident in their decision. They know why they’re doing what they’re doing, and their arguments are solid and effective. They believe in their project and values, and that’s the power of their determination.
   • In contrast, being a cold person is not necessarily a sign of self-confidence. This doesn’t mean they lack confidence, but their lack of emotional transparency makes them unreadable, but this is not an indicator of confidence.
     
2. Listening. The second difference is listening.
   • A cold person is so walled off that there’s no exchange. They don’t receive information from the outside world or express themselves. It’s more than a lack of listening—it’s a lack of interaction.
   • A determined person, on the other hand, listens and is open to the world, understanding and analysing it. However, to change their mind, you need strong, solid arguments. Since emotions are not valid arguments (remember!), it’s difficult to sway them. This makes determined people seem stubborn or unsympathetic, but this is often a misunderstanding by others.
     
3. Expression of Emotions. Another difference (and one of our specialities at Act’in Theatre) is the expression of emotions.
   • A cold person is insensitive and lacks emotion. This is simple, consistent, and efficient. It’s this lack of warmth that gives the term “cold.”
   • A determined person expresses emotions! Not taking emotions into account doesn’t mean they don’t feel or show them. For example, in the house-buying scenario, a determined person might feel fear (about the budget, debts, etc.) but won’t let that fear be a deciding factor. They’ll listen to it, analyse it, take a step back, and… move forward.
     This difference also extends to how they treat others. A determined person treats others the same way they treat themselves: emotions are not high-quality arguments. However, all arguments can be expressed and heard!
     
4. The outcome of the attitude. The final difference is in the result of the attitude.
   • A cold person is indifferent to the outside world. If they hurt someone, they hurt them. If they do something positive, it’s by chance. It’s very selfish and solitary.
   • A determined person, however, impacts their environment and others. Even if their goal is personal, they consider the outside world. For instance, if they’re determined to deliver a great presentation in a meeting, they’ll work on their speech, include rhythm, and positively impact the audience to achieve their objective.
     

Discussing this difference is fascinating!

For an actor, understanding different attitudes is crucial for portraying them accurately.

For you, in everyday life, it’s just as important! If someone accuses you of being cold, now you know how to change that perception by applying the differences we’ve explained!

I hope this article helps you in your daily life!
Now that you know everything, feel free to take our fun “knowledge quiz“ below!